It’s the beginning of the New Year and with it comes the tendency for people to make resolutions with all the best of intentions, despite how they may have fizzled out trying to meet ones from previous years. Diet, declutter, exercise, read more, fast-food less, vacation goals, work goals, etc. Maybe you’ve made a goal & knocked it out of the park, yet still yearned for more. Maybe you’ve made a goal & never even started taking steps to achieve it. We’ve all been there. Just more proof that we’re human; constantly striving, stumbling, or too scared to start. But I’ve been thinking…what if we made resolutions of a different sort? Ones that weren’t tangible or temporal. Ones that didn’t revolve around drawing attention to ourselves. Ones that were internal, quietly fought for in the spiritual realm, ones that made us more holy. Before I lose you, here’s a list that’s been running through my head:
Be hard to offend. Seriously, in a world that is full of people who are SO easily offended, make it take quite the effort to ruffle your feathers.
Lighten up & don’t take yourself so seriously. Laugh it off. Check your pride.
Stop having ungracious assumptions about others. “They must be talking about me. She didn’t text me back because she thinks I’m annoying. What he really meant when he said that was…” Etc. Try to assume the best.
Along those lines, have you ever noticed the tendency in your thoughts to think of yourself as the main character of the story? “Traffic is throwing of MY schedule, that Facebook status must be about ME, didn’t they think about how x-y-z would’ve impacted ME, made MY life more difficult, she’s just jealous, he’s just insecure, nobody has any idea what it took for me to show up today, etc., etc.” You get the point. In our minds if we’re not careful, we’re the main character & everyone else has minor roles. We make others out to be villains or supporting cast. The storyline is what we have planned & if it doesn’t go accordingly, well then the main character has a monologue of despair or anger or self pity. What if we resolved this year to stop viewing ourselves as the main character of a story we’re writing & course-corrected by remembering we’re simply one person on a big planet that’s part of an immensely huge story that God is actually writing? Enough of that rabbit hole; just something I’ve been chewing on when my inner main character starts up another monologue.
At risk of sounding completely contradictory, the next one is to be more introspective. Not in the “woe-is-me, I have to dissect everything negative about myself, I’m such an awful person” kind of way. Not in the bratty-main-character type of way as mentioned above. But in the kind of way that works to be more self-aware, for the sake of others. Am I a thoughtful person? Am I a joy to be around? Am I good at reading how other people might be feeling? Do I take up all the energy in the room because I never stop talking? Am I a good listener? Should I actually chime in more & offer my advice or encouragement? Am I moody? Am I stingy? Would I allow anyone to actually call me out on any of the above? Am I teachable? Am I the first or last to apologize in my marriage? If you want to take this resolution to the next level, you could ask your spouse or a close friend to be honest with you about some of the questions above. Chances are, you already know in what areas you fall short. But you also might be surprised at how you’re perceived by those with the front row seats to your life or how one little tweak could make all the difference in your relationships.
My hubby and I discussed some goals for the new year together recently. They included some of the stereotypical ones above like eating a high protein diet, lifting weights, vacationing this year, reading goals & Bible study topics. But if I had to choose one, it would be this: “be where your feet are.” I know that’s pretty cliche; I saw that quote on a home decor sign at Kirklands honestly. But it hit me because I’m always paces ahead of where my feet actually are at any given moment. In the morning I’m thinking about what time we need to leave, how I need to stop at the store on the way home, what I’m going to cook for dinner, & what I’ll do when the kids nap. At naptime, I’m planning for dinner, at dinner I’m looking forward to bedtime, and at bedtime I’m thinking about tomorrow. Some people might have the opposite problem; they can’t be where their feet are today because they’re constantly looking into the past feeling nostalgic, or regretful, or shoulda-woulda-coulda. And let’s not even get started on how our phones can keep us from being present! “Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” and “tomorrow will be anxious for itself” says Matthew 6. So be where your feet are. Be thankful. Be present. Love your people. And maybe put your phone down more often.
As a mom of littles I have so many intangible things I want to be resolved to do: use a gentle voice, clean up messes without exasperation, be willing to repeat myself without taking personal offense about having to do so, genuinely smile at & kiss my children when they wake up & when I put them to bed. That’s a good place to start & if I just mastered those this year I’d be well on my way to sanctification! 🤪
The fruits of the Spirit would be a good list to reference as you consider a spiritual resolution for yourself in the new year. Whatever the Holy Spirit has brought to mind as you’ve read this, praise God for that! Conviction is proof that we’re His children. Start there. Start small. Start spiritual. And let any other tangible goals we achieve this year come second to how we’ve allowed Christ to chip away at us inwardly in 2024.
By His Grace & My grit,
Hilary Harrison
